Young I am not

Today (Saturday) sparks the first day in my new life as a single woman.  And boy does my back hurt!! Nothing says it's official like moving your shit out of the home you shared for 9 years with the man you love.  Especially when he's so ready to be rid of you that he's packed up almost all your belongings into tidy Uhaul boxes.  How do I feel about this monumental day in my life?  Saturday, June 15, 2013.  Sad.  Confused mostly.  A little surreal too I guess.  I don't know where the anger went.  I'm just too tired to be angry.  Plus, I get it.  He's done.  When I'm done I'm done... so yeah, I get it.  I think I just want it to be over.

The part that is giving me stress isn't the ruination of my marriage (as one would think it would be) but what to do with the REST of my life.  That's a much more important question as it is the one I can control.  Must. Make. Right. Decision.  #pressure

I feel like I should be more upset over this.  But the truth is... life is short.  I'm not going to spend it unhappy.  Especially at this age.  Not with what I now know.

One of my favorite albums of all time is Tesla's "Times Making Changes".  The song "What You Give" is particularly joyful to my ears. 

For your reading pleasure:
What you give lyrics

It has also inspired my next lyrical tattoo.  More to come.........

Divorce

got my divorce papers in the mail today.  couldn't even read them.  this is so unfair.

Update

Sometimes, even with a lot of people, friends, around - life gets lonely.

Rantings of a crazy woman

After a quick trip to the Post Office & back I’m sitting in The Silver Dollar under the ceiling fan.  Laptop sitting on the Silver Dollar table.  I left the garage door open to enjoy the lazy rain.  Finally the humidity is releasing it’s grasp from around my lungs. 

To relax, “The 20/20 Experience” by Justin Timberlake finesses my earholes.  Lightening stark against the night sky brings a smile to my face.  Thunder rolls in the distance.  {Immediately think of Garth Brooks}.  Life is good. 

WTF…..

Why do men only want sex?  What happened to getting wine’d and dine’d before you’re 69’d?  #godImOld   Or carrying on a conversation about something other than your dick?  No?  That’s out too?  Welllll, don't I feel like Austin Powers stuck in the 80’s. 

 

REWIND…..

How much sex is to much? 

How many partners is to much?

How many partners at one time is to much?

How many partners in a 24 hour period is to much?

How many partners do you wish you’d fucked but didn’t?  (the good ?)

How important is sex actually to a lasting relationship?

How’s sex for you compared to 5 years ago?

How’s sex for you compared to 10 years ago?

How’s sex for you compared to 5 years from Now?

 

*+*  Why all the sex questions you ask?  Well… while typing I’m looking at my PC background and it’s a pic of Dwayne and his cousin named Um… Some hot ass Samoan dude.  I donno.  *swoon*  I wanna be right in the middle of that sammich.

 

I'll give you a minute to Regroup

 

Zoned…………………………………..   Taking a break …………………………………..denoZ

 

The windchimes have the prettiest tones.  The wind has picked up and the rain not so lazy.  Mother Nature cleaning her Planet. 

I’m beginning to think that Love, does not in fact, exist.  I think it’s just another part of the bullshit fed to us to keep up placated & reproducing.  If that’s not enough they throw the Bible at you.   Can’t lull you into Sheeples we’ll scare you into it.  There is no American Dream.  There is no white picket fence, Brady Bunch family with Lassie the pooch.  ALL JUST EXCELLENT MARKETING. 

Think about it.

Oh wait… most of you won’t.  Why?  Because you immediately got defensive instead of stopping for one moment & actually considering it.  You should try it.  It’s called “Thinking for yourself.”   

 

When Lot’s wife turned back to look at Sodom & Gemorrah (sp?) and turned into a pillar of salt.  How did Lot know?  Who turned around to see if she had been turned into a pillar of salt?  Are you following me?  If Lot turned around to see if she was a pillar well it’s the whole turning around dealio that gets you pulverized.  Was Jesus running away from the hell-fire that was raining down and was like “Oh snap, she just got turned into salt.  Hey, isn’t that Lot’s wife?” 

 The temperature has dropped a couple degrees just in the time I’ve been typing this.  I started around 1:35 am.  It’s now 2:08 am.  The windchimes have taken on a different, more sinister tone.  The wind has picked up speed & is now throwing the rain down the street.  Wow… within 30 minutes this went from a lazy rain to a full on storm.  One of my fondest memories as a child was sitting in my window sill when this type storm would come thru.  I could feel the rain start to sting my leg & I’d have to close the window to keep Mom from being mad.  Lol.  I’ve always felt connected to storms.  I don’t like driving in them but if I can sit, as I am now, and just enjoy it… very fond of this activity. 

 

How to break your best friend’s heart:   Tell her you can’t move back to the town she lives in.  #iSuck

 Just when you think your life sucks major ass…. Somebody else’s suck dirtier ass.  But you know what?  You still had to suck some ass.  So, it’s ok to be a little pissed off.  #justSayin

I sure do love me some ####Hashtags####  I was doing them before they were popular only I used the much cuter *  Or, during webtv days the ever present /yousuckedass

 

============  My 2 cents

Eat local.  Shop local.  Buy local.  Recycle.  Reuse.  Grow your own.  Educate yourself.  Make informed decisions.  Do not be self destructive.   Laugh often.  More often than that.  You don’t have to care what others think but you do need to use compassion.  Be brave.  Have boundaries but go outside your comfort zone.  Respect Mother Nature.  Karma is a bitch.  Cardio!  Double Tap!  Don’t forget your charger.